grey kiddo

Nothing feels right anymore. I don't even have the exact word to describe how I feel.

You said that I can hit you up anytime, call you everytime. You don't even care, don't you? 

Hello Aku balik bermalam. (Lol behzad mana pernah tak outing tak bermalam kan). My stop is near utc. My mom will always fetch me there. Soooo. It is a friday. Got there around 5 something. Turun turun, saw this one pakcik. Jual rokok. He offered me to sit on a chair. So. I did. It was an awkward silence, but I started the convo. He told me that he wasted his youth, therefore he's only selling cigs. kiranya dia kerja sekarang untuk sara anak. Anak dia sekolah rendah lagi. Deep down inside, I actually have the deepest respect to him. Sir, thank you, for not abandoning your kids. Untuk pakcik maybe pakcik rasa rendah kat bumi ni, tapi bagi saya pakcik orang yang jauh lagi mjlia dari yang kaya rabak tapi lepas tanggungjawab begitu gitu je. I might have srartrd the convo, but I actually was so speechless at the time. Teared up a bit too. Haha. You are doing great. Thank you. I pray that your child will be someone great one day! Before aku chau, I thanked him for offeri...

hello. I have two instagram accounts. one is  @rebelzad another issss  @behzadkhairiah kenapa ada dua acc ni? the story behind this @behzadkhairiah account is, aku buat account ni time 2016 -- march 2016 i think. Masa tu, banyak juga benda jadi kat aku. There's this group of girls yang attack aku dalam dm aku. BuKaN itu jE, sanggup add aku kat wechat, voicenote aku kat WhatsApp maki maki aku.  ya tuhan :')  yang kelakarnya, acah baik, pastu ajak aku makan, offer ambil aku kat rumah aku. I rejected, and she insisted, keep on tanya address aku. siap ugut aku nak cari rumah aku, kata banyak cable la apa la. lol kau dah kenapa girl? cable banyak banyak ni nak buat networking ke apa? they made up stories about me, semuanya tak enak. bukan fitnah biasa biasa you. dah kenapa diorang bash kau ni behzad? biasalah, they all malaikat, takde dosa.  sebab balak je, aduhai, ambillah, aku tak hadap pun.  (ala...

I  HAVE NO IDEA WHY PEOPLE ARE LECTURING ME ABOuT mY wEiGhT let me eat what I want ok k  janji tak makan orang  luvvvv pasta :-)  loveeeeee fruits : matrik tkde buah erghhh  kenapa kau taknak makan ugh  kang ada pula yang bising cakap aku acah matsaleh kannn (cough cough) nah this is my fav pahang food :-)  look  this this this I love kuey teow so much, kuey teow>mee>mihun  pan mee ! ok? em? how can you not eat 

Hello. So last week, lecturer Comp Science aku bagi last assignment kitorang sem 1 ni - which is making a blog. Then aku baru sedar, damn, lama gilaaaaaa aku tak menulis. Aku nak ambil blog food review at first, but bukan rezeki aku. So yea I took latest songs as a theme for my blogging assignment. Hehehe, risau apa kan? Banyak kut lagu aku download, sejak form 2 hobi aku batak download lagu nak bagi nampak banyak.  Seraya ku berfikir The Beatles, John Lennon, My Chemical Romance, One Direction, Lana Del Rey, semua lagu fav aku download. Mainly because aku pakai MP3 player untuk dengar lagu (one of my fav things) Aku ingat aku takkan ada problem nak buat blogging post pasal latest songs. Turns out I'm wrong. Super wrong. I changed my title, yet I still think listing out my favourite songs this month isn't bad. SO YEAh SEPTEMBER LIST  1. Khalid - Location bomb af tak tipu  2. Tori Kelly - Dear No One no no, actually, this is my...

Bila tiba hari masa dirampas Sedekahkanlah buku buku aku Berilah baju bajuku Cium anak syurga untuk aku Jangan tukar warna cadarku Jangan buang foto polaroid awan biru  Bacalah tinta ayat aku Tahu aku sayang kamu Tahu aku tak mampu lagi Cari aku di awan biru  Maafkan khilaf dosaku Maafkan daku Kerna aku seorang manusia yang sedar hidup tak punya banyak jasa Namun masih mahu ada dalam secebis memori indah kamu 10 dec 16 , 1.04 am 

---hello I sometimes ask what is the first thing you look at in the morning are you looking out of your windows to find any differences from yesterday I sometimes am wondering if ...do you have any windows at all? I know my apologies won't change anything but then I say sorry again by the fact that I at least have windows I often turn the alarm off in the cold mornings and I'm stupefied that you can't turn those unnecessary, ear-splitting noises down. Sometimes I ask too is the reason that you are smiling still is the promise of a place in the heaven that god carves for all of you ---are you there I saw the news and the captures of the lifeless, still eyes I feel the tears cascading down my cheeks. I think you are not there anymore and my heart crumbles at the thought of the pain that you feel felt. ---goodbye how are you doing right now are you laying down on the smaragdine grass under the blue skies or are you ...