how are you doing in heaven

---hello

I sometimes ask
what is the first thing you look at in the morning
are you looking out of your windows
to find any differences from yesterday

I sometimes am wondering
if
...do you have any windows at all?

I know my apologies won't change anything

but then I say sorry again
by the fact
that I at least have windows

I often turn the alarm off in the cold mornings

and

I'm stupefied that you can't turn those unnecessary,
ear-splitting noises down.

Sometimes I ask too

is the reason that you are smiling still

is the promise of a place in the heaven
that god carves for all of you

---are you there

I saw the news
and the captures of the lifeless, still eyes

I feel the tears cascading down my cheeks.

I think you are not there anymore

and

my heart crumbles at the thought of the pain that you feel

felt.

---goodbye

how are you doing right now
are you laying down on the smaragdine grass
under the blue skies

or are you smelling the flowers

with a whole new feeling 

beatific, 

buoyant in the good

heaven